Little monsters and adherents to the Church of Cinematic Gore emitted many a 140-character squeal today after Lady Gaga and Robert Rodriguez both announced that the singer will make her acting debut in 2013’s Machete Kills, the sequel to the Grindhouse offshoot starring Danny Trejo as a bounty hunter shooting and hacking his way through a cabal of corrupt border militiamen. In the character poster released today, Gaga dons animal fur and a femme fatale look as "La Chameleón," a role in which Rodriguez said she "kicked SO MUCH ASS!" (emphasis his). The "femme fatale"/assassin role seems probable, but with a name like that, you can bet there will be a whole lot of elaborate costume changes. Oh, and of course the little monsters are already making their own fan versions of the image. Tumblr is going to be a very different place by tomorrow, mark my words.
The IMDb page for Machete Kills also has Cuba Gooding Jr. listed as a character called "La Camaleón," so perhaps they’re some sort of bizarre crime-fighting/causing duo? But Gaga is one of just a number of stars confirmed or reportedly attached to the sequel, which finds Machete tracking down a rogue arms dealer through Mexico to stop him from launching weapons into space. Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez return as Sartana and Luz, respectively, joined by Amber Heard as Miss San Antonio, Sofía Vergara, Demián Bichir, Edward James Olmos (!), Rodriguez’ Spy Kids star Alexa Vega and… Mel Gibson as Luther Voz, the villainous arms dealer in question. Also, Charlie Sheen is apparently playing the President, because if you’re going to have one high-profile human meme frequently associated with misogynist/anti-Semitic words and behaviors in a movie, you might as well go for broke and add another, and make him the President. Oh well, there’s still Sofía Vergara. And Danny Trejo. And Gaga, kicking "SO MUCH ASS." It’s like a celeb-obsessed teenager’s Twitter feed put in a blender, except with more guns and a sweet soundtrack. We’ll see what happens.