Jennifer Garner to Play Old Spinster Miss Marple

Well here’s a casting decision that makes sense: 38-year-old Jennifer Garner will play Miss Marple in a Disney version of the classic Agatha Christie series. Maybe they haven’t read any Miss Marple books? She’s an old lady who solves mysteries as a hobby in a quaint English town. And she’s awesome. But Hollywood just had to go and mess with her.

Maybe because women pass their expiry date at age 40 in the movie industry. They just couldn’t handle the idea of an elderly leading lady, I guess. (Anyway, don’t we have Helen Mirren for sexy older woman roles now?) There have already been a number of Miss Marple movie and television remakes, the most famous of which stars Angela Lansbury.

Jennifer Garner is also a charisma black hole, but that’s another story. Maybe she’ll be great! But Hollywood could have been so much cooler about this. Some slimy industry person was all “Let’s make Miss Marple hot,” which defeats the purpose of Miss Marple. Whatever. I’m fairly confident that I’m the only person in America to feel any outrage about this.

Here’s Joan Hickson as Miss Marple. She proves you don’t have to be young and hot to be totally badass. Admittedly, this version is super boring, but still.