So, here’s what happened: Disney bought Lucasfilm, George Lucas became the company’s largest shareholder, semi-retired and rode his Tauntaun off into the sunset, three new Star Wars movies were announced which led to a glut of "Disney Princess Leia" jokes and now Star Wars Episode VII: Return of the Star Wars apparently has a director, and that director is apparently Lost creator and master of AfterEffects, J.J. Abrams. Fans have either responded with some curious goatee-stroking or a Vaderesque "NOOOOOOOO!"
If this is indeed super-duper confirmed, which it may not be for a while and the movie isn’t coming out until 2015 anyway calm down we have some other things to get through first, then it will only mean we are closer to a science fiction fandom singularity. Think about it. Abrams would now have hands in Alias, Fringe, Lost, Star Trek and Star Wars, as well as Revolution. One man, centering all these fandoms, like a bespectacled sun around which Comic-Con attendees orbit. And can someone be involved in both Star Trek and Star Wars? Are there rules about that?
Also, Michael Arndt, who wrote the screenplays for Little Miss Sunshine and Toy Story 3, is penning the thing, so uh, maybe some good-natured quirk with somewhat dark undertones and sentimentality to go with your space battles and Cantina shootouts? He and Abrams might make an interesting pair.
The Internet, as it often does, had an absolute field day with the news, with Twitter fluttering with suggestions about directors that people like who could or should direct a Star Wars movie. Our own Tyler Coates had a few ideas ("Shit, give one of them to Julie Delpy!"), while other suggestions included a Steven Soderbergh-helmed "Ocean’s Eleven in space," a Coen Brothers Star Wars sequel and Sofía Coppola directing an adaptation where "The Millennium Falcon just flies in circles for hours on end." For what it’s worth, all these jokes are still funnier than all-capsing about MOAR LENS FLARE in response to the Abrams story. There’s gotta be more, y’all.
That said, here’s some YouTube short from Boy Genius Comedy that really drives the J.J. Abrams Really Loves Using Lens Flares things home. Like flogging a dead horse, with a lens flare highlighting the scene.