OK. We suspect you’ve heard the news already. So we begin with: I know, right? In which we follow up with: On a Thursday night! And then we finish with: Here is the rest of the news you need to hear about the annoucement.
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have broken up which we already know has sent several of you into near catacylismic cycles of depression. How can the man who brought you Dude, Where’s My Car? fall out of love with G.I Jane? It seems unfathomable, does it not? Does Ashton – the Punk’d master – not see it fit in his young adult life to continue the holy matrimony with A Few Good Men star Demi Moore?
It appears less so, dear readers. Yes, you may be sitting there eating a parfait expecting everything to be wonderful, but it is not. Ashton Kutcher even so far as to link the Public Enemy song "Dont Believe The Hype" in his bajillion-followed Twitter account @aplusk earlier this week, it seems, to try and dissasociate himself from the rumors of his and Demi’s breakup. But that is not to be the case. Demi announced today that they are splitting up.
If you are having a hard time dealing with the news (as I am sure you are), take it to Twitter with the hashtag #AshtonDemiCMON, and we’ll be sure to post the best answers here. Or not. Perhaps it just seems appropriate since they lived so much of their marriage online.