Point Break, a long-forgotten film from a bygone era, is being remade by Warner Bros. The original was rife with cultural artifacts like “surfing” and “banks.” Clearly, Kurt Wimmer, the screenwriter responsible for updating it, has his work cut out for him. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the new version “will be set in the world of international extreme sports and also involve an FBI agent infiltrating a criminal ring.” How do the studios come up with this stuff?
Producer Michael DeLuca says, “Point Break wasn’t just a film, it was a Zen meditation on testosterone fueled action and manhood in the late 20th century and we hope to create the same for the young 21st!” How do you update a Zen meditation on testosterone fueled action for the 21st century? Let’s consider! In the original, the bank robbing surf gang called themselves the Ex-Presidents and wore masks of Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, and Ronald Reagan during their heists. The new costume designers will have to find masks for George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and George W. Bush. We wonder if they will even have the time, given that the remake has been “fast tracked” by Warner Bros. The climax of Point Break occurs when Johnny Utah, played by Keanu Reeves, jumps out of a plane without a parachute to catch Bodhi (Patrick Swayze), the head of the gang. The remake’s Johnny Utah will have to take his shoes off at the security checkpoint before boarding the plane due to TSA regulations, another wrinkle that will add a whole new dimension to this “Zen Meditation.” The film ends with Bodhi surfing in the “50 Year Storm,” a swell that occurs in Australia every five decades. Considering the original Point Break took place in 1991, the characters in the remake will have to wait 30 years for new scene to be accurate. That, or the filmmakers will need to think of a new way to end the movie. Shouldn’t be a problem, however, as they are clearly good at coming up with fresh ideas.