By Tyler Coates , May 23, 2012
You guys, something is wrong with Kate Upton’s jean shorts. Like, really, really wrong. I’m a little concerned!
VH1 Celebrity shares the news that Upton has unveiled her new bikini line. Congrats, Kate Upton! All of your design experience and time spent slaving over your sewing machine, thankfully avoiding your precious fingertips (finger tips of a delicate princess, I’d say!) from that mechanicanized needle has finally come to fruition! But they also point out that she’s having a slight wardrobe malfunction, and, quite honestly, I think all of that time in her studio sketching those intricate drawings of swimwear have left her a little nutty. Her shorts are BROKEN!
Am I the only one seeing this? By which I mean her butt? Her butt is visible because her broken shorts are showing off her butt! What could have possibly caused that? Too much dougieing? Did she sit too close to a fireplace? Shark attack? Did her bracelets snag them? Did she borrow them from some gay dude? A laser hair removal mishap?
Did they get snagged in the motor of her boat? Did her mom slam the door behind her as Kate was leaving her house? Does she have IBS? Did she sit on a saw?
Y’all, I think someone really needs to get to the bottom of this because I’m really worried about Kate Upton’s shorts.