Have You Noticed People Dress Slutty On Halloween?

There’s this trend, have you heard of it? Some women wear little clothing on Halloween! It’s called "dressing sexy," You see, you can pair "sexy" with any sort of Halloween costume. Sexy Witch! Sexy Alien! Sexy Vampire! Sexy Emily Dickinson! The possibilities are limitless!

And did you know that sometimes gay guys get in on the act, too! Sexy Gay Mario Brothers! Sexy Gay Vampires! Sexy Gay Bears! (Actual bears, not like gay-guy bears.) This year I might go as Sexy Gay Sylvia Plath. I’ll just wear a tight 1950s housedress, one that is short enough to show off my legs and just a liiiiitttle bit of my tight boxer briefs. It’s going to hard to maneuver around the bars with a giant cardboard-box marked "OVEN" on my head, though. (Gay guys also love drag, you see. Sexy drag!)

What is UP with the sexy outfits, though? Seriously???? Isn’t it funny because you can totally dress like a Sexy Person the rest of the year? It’s kinda like how St. Patrick’s Day is Amateur Hour for people who like to drink. Who needs a holiday to rationalize dressing like a whore? (Well, certainly not actual whores! Ha ha, using this context to propagate my own inherent sexism is pretty fun, now I get it!) This really is the Christmas for people who need to be paid attention to by showing up in public wearing as little as possible, and also for people who blog to repeat the same jokes every single October.

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