All I Want Is a Pair of Denim Underpants

You guys, my birthday this weekend. I will be 29 years old. And that’s actually 29 years old, not thirtysomething but just saying I’m always turning 29 because ha ha ha isn’t that so clever and cute? Anyway, because I am not yet in my thirties, I think it’s perfectly reasonable for me to wear denim underpants. Right? Right.

My friend Darci told me she was going to get me these for Christmas, but fuck that! I can’t wait that long. All I’ve ever wanted in my life is a pair of boxer jorts, because it really is time to take freeballing to a whole new level. I mean, LOOK AT ALL OF THE STYLEZ:

I think the pair with "me" in Japanese really say "me," wouldn’t you agree?

Contact the author of this post at tcoates@bbook.com and follow him on Twitter.

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