Things That Only Happen In The Anthropologie Catalog

Last week I compared the J.Crew catalog to "Dr. Who’s space-time continuum where things happen between its pages that don’t actually happen in real life." Clearly I forgot about the Anthropologie catalog, which is also disconnected to the way us "working class" people do things in the real world.

Here are some examples of their shabby chic bamboozlement:

  • I totally wear high heels when riding a horse. Don’t you?
  • The pattern clashing. Paisley, plaid, and Fairisle do not belong in the same outfit.
  • Native American design-covered booties with six rainbow colored pom-poms are not a "thing."
  • No redheaded woman would wear orange lipstick.
  • No one would wear $298 boots and a $168 to gallivant across the Scottish countryside.
  • Seriously, you guys: the pattern clashing

Items in the Anthropologie catalog are actually less expensive than the J.Crew catalog, if you can believe it. But we all know that store is a black hole of bad shopping decisions where you find yourself spending $58 for a teal blue tee shirt because it’s just the prettiest shade of teal you’ve ever seen. Not that I am speaking from experience or anything.

Contact the author of this post at Jessica.Wakeman@Gmail.com. Follow me on Twitter and Tumblr.

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