David Hasselhoff Goes Missing (But Just From Cumberland Farms)

Tragedy has struck suburban Boston! 550 life-size David Hasselhoff cut-outs have been stolen from area Cumberland Farms stores. The ads showed the aging Baywatch hunk endorsing Cumberland’s 99 cent iced coffee. Only 20 David Hasselfhoff cut-outs remain, which means a life-size Hoff ad could be as rare as a Bigfoot sighting.

For his part, Hasselhoff told a news station it is "cool and kind of humbles me" that people care enough to steal his likeness, like alone 550 of his likenesses. (Don’t speak too soon, Hoff. You have no idea what the thieves are doing with them.) Hasselhoff is unconcerned about the thefts, sticking to his concern for the bottom line. "Please have a cup of coffee while doing it," he said.

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