The Most Infuriating Autocorrection Known To Humankind

We all like to bitch about our magic smartphones. They’ve got bad service, they’re too expensive, they’re not the new version Apple put out twenty minutes ago. The autocorrect feature is one that elicits more than its fare share of griping—even entire websites. But its failings are all forgivable. Save one that you may already know. Want to hear it?

Tge. That’s right, Tge. When you try to type “the,” but miss the “h” and hit “g,” you get “tge.” The iPhone, bless its circuits, knows that you did not mean “tge,” because there’s no such word as “tge.” So what does it do? IT CAPITALIZES. Now you’ve got “Tge.” Problem solved! Am I crazy, or is this the very first thing they should have programmed into an iPhone designed for the English-speaking user? Do they think I text a lot about TGE Gas Engineering or the Tokyo Grain Exchange (both of which should be all caps, by the bye)?   

BLAH BLAH BLAH YOU ARE GOING TO TELL ME THIS IS MY OWN FAULT AND TO GO INTO SETTINGS AND “Reset Keyboard Dictionary” etc., but you know what? No. If my phone insists on being so goddamn ignorant, it can just go ahead and stay that way. This sorry state of affairs will have to endure until the thing can learn on its own. Or I get skinnier thumbs.

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