A plethora of OPI polished came across my desk this week; the Mariah Carey holiday collection, with color names reminiscent of the singer’s songs and her affinity for glitter. I’m an avid fan of mid-90s Mariah (Honey! Fantasy!) so there’s an automatic love for certain shades. And while I’m not normally into more matte polish, I kind of can’t get enough of All I Want for Christmas (is OPI) because, really, who isn’t in a festive mood when that song comes on the radio? So a polish by by any other name, would it look as sweet?
One of the best nail polish names of all time has to be OPI’s I’m Not Really a Waitress, the comedy of which was lost on my 12 year-old, Colorado born- and-bred self. I thought it was flirtatious: a young woman pretends to be a waitress to talk to the cute guy at a nearby table – it was something I would have done with my friends. It wasn’t until I moved to California for college and met an abundance of “not really waitresses” that I realized the true meaning… but anyway.
Painting on that shimmering red meant instant sass, the power of which was felt before the top coat could even dry. The words were equal to, if not more powerful than, the color itself. Like the slightly angst-y power that comes with Chanel’s dark, dark purple Vendetta, or the more ladylike hand gestures that are inherent with Butter London’s Tea with the Queen. The name gives the color context, and like with all of beauty and fashion, provides a little extra fantasy for a more beautiful life.
Have you ever held two basically identical colors together, and struggled for more than a few minutes over which to get? (While the manicurist looks impatiently on…) The better name always wins out.
It’s also why I’ve avoided some otherwise perfectly nice colors – like Sugar Daddy… ugh – for fear that my personality will pick up on something I’m not fond of. I mean, just imagine the girl who picks up Sugar Daddy at the nail salon and is like “This is totally me!” Do you want to be her? No.
So the next time a chill rolls into town, I’m reaching for Warm Me Up, a glossy, pearly warm gray color that should help just as much as a giant cup of espresso. And yes, you read that right.
And just because it’s Thursday: