Military Personnel Revealed To Have Had Sexual Intercourse

Since the moral fabric of this country has been all but shredded into a salty breakfast hash over the last two hundred and forty years, it should perhaps come as no surprise that the individuals we train to strategically murder our enemies either one by one or in wide swaths of awesome destruction do, on certain occasions, rub genitals with other interested parties. And not always the parties they are legally bound to do that sort of genital-rubbing with.

It transpired also that this genital-rubbing was accompanied by much non-genital communication, specifically via email, a dominant form of idea transmission in this day and age where we find ourselves, this era of weird associations between heterosexual men and heterosexual women playing out seductive games of power and control and trying not to tell the whole world about it. Strange days, indeed.

And the scandal will only widen from there: further leaks seem to indicate that many army and intelligence officers have, in the past, cheated at golf, imbibed alcohol, lied to their children about the Tooth Fairy, asked for extra ketchup packets at McDonald’s, forgot ATM receipts, driven over the speed limit, and even, in some cases, masturbated. One fears we will not know the full depths of the system’s inherent depravity for years. If we can bear to look at all.

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

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