The Great Mascara Test of New Year’s Eve 2014

Stick me on deserted island and I’d ask for a pile of books and some mascara. There is something to be said for flaunting thick, full, long lashes. Whether I am hiding behind them or using them to get shit done, mascara makes me feel as if I could rule the world. (Am I right, ladies?) I rely on mascara to liven my tired winter weather-beaten face. Even on days when my skin looks blotchy and my hair frizzy I can always rely on mascara to pull everything together.

In preparation for New Year’s Eve, a night when pre-midnight eye contact is of the utmost importance, I tested a few mascaras. I was looking for something that gave me lush, full lashes but that didn’t lose anything in the way of length. I wanted my lashes to look perfect but also natural, you know, perfectly natural or naturally perfect.

The following conclusions are the result of lots and lots of eyelash batting (thank you to all the men who pretended it was completely normal when I stared you down on Madison Avenue!)

Benefit They’re Real

The best mascara for the faux eyelash lover, They’re Real leaves you with thick, long, luscious lashes, even if a little reminiscent of spider’s legs. This mascara does beg the question of whether or not your eyelashes are real because the length it begets is so not natural.  It’s perfect for those who love high-impact, big-drama makeup. A go-to for going out on the town and for anyone weary of putting on actual fake lashes but vying for that over the top effect. I was asked twice the day I wore it if my lashes were real and I couldn’t have been more pleased to answer yes, yes they are. In fact, it says so right on the tube.

Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara

With one sweep of the hourglass wand one experiences something that is not in fact better than sex, but actually kind of close plush, full, curled lashes. With a few more sweeps of the slightly cumbersome brush you can achieve a full fringe of thick, dark, doe-eyed lashes similar to those of violet-eyed Elizabeth Taylor. Less dramatic than the aforementioned Benefit iteration this mascara is a good every day go-to – especially if you want to look like Elizabeth Taylor everyday. Better Than Sex is best used at bat as you feel like you are capable of anything while wielding such luscious lashes… like seducing the perfect man standing across the bar.

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Bobbi Brown Intensifying Long-Wear Mascara

The perfect balance between natural and why-yes-I-have-really-long-thick-perfect-lashes, thank you very much. It’s perfect for every day use but with continued application can easily take you from day to night. It delivers soft, touchable lashes that won’t leave you with raccoon eyes by dint of smeared flakes. It kept my fringe looking pert until I finally decided to take it off even if that may have been some 16 hours later.

Lancome Doll Eyes Mascara

This mascara seems best for those already endowed with thick, long lashes. Despite continued attempts at creating that wide-eyed, flirty, doll eye I was usually left with a fair amount of clumps that I would later pick at while staring at my computer. The mascara smudged under my eye half way through the day, giving me a particularly intense case of raccoon eye. Good if you’re going for that worn in look.

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Maybelline Great Lash Mascara

This mascara does nothing particularly amazing in the way of volume or curl but everything you could hope for in length. I imagine that this mascara is a cult favorite due to its unbelievable shelf life. I keep it around to fill that space between mascara purchases for when I’m too tired to stop at Sephora. Great Lash Mascara has always been there to hold me over until my next trip down the rabbit hole. This mascara is consistent and stable and sometimes, like with men, in the fickle world of mascaras there is nothing more that you could hope for. Though this may not be my sole New Years Eve come-kiss-me-now mascara I will probably throw it in my clutch for that 11:35 retouch… because it’s reliable and by that time in the night it just has to work.

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