Last night, in addition to throwing their electoral votes to Obama, Colorado voters passed Amendment 64, legalizing the use of marijuana for recreational purposes (as did voters in Washington)—which puts state law in contention with federal. But Governer John Hickenlooper had been opposed to the referendums in question and cautioned his constituency not to “break out the Cheetos and Goldfish too quickly.”
You know something? I think Hickenlooper is right. We shouldn’t bust out the junk food too fast. First we should actually smoke some of that sweet, sweet, semi-legal reefer. Ahh. Can’t get the munchies without getting high, right? Afterward, let’s head out and see a big outdoor concert with lots of lasers. The weather will be crisp and fresh; the stars will look immaculate above. We can follow this up with a nice dinner out, maybe to that romantic little Szechuan place we’ve been enjoying recently. Then we can go home and have some mind-blowing, super-stoned sex, because let’s face it: the stuff makes you horny.
Then, when we’re lying sprawled and sweaty on the bed, and someone has turned the TV on out of sheer exhaustion, and a few more quiet moments have passed, that’s when I’d like you to turn to me and say “Are you still hungry? We’ve got some Goldfish or Cheetos in the pantry, I think.” Sounds great! I’ll try not to get any crumbs in the sheets, but no promises. And God Bless Potmerica, baby.
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