All My Problems Would Be Solved If I Could Afford Cocaine

Gosh, it must occur to me at least eight times a day that a fifty bag of cocaine would be just what I need to sort everything out. It’d give me a bit of pep, wouldn’t you say? A little cocaine and then it’d all fall into place, I’d get it all done—I could even make it fun! A game. A cocaine game.

Yep, that’s it: cocaine. Only a fifty bag, and I wouldn’t need any more. If I did need more, I’d be on cocaine and therefore able to come up with a good plan for how to get more, see? It’s like Flowers for Algernon, you know? I keep getting smarter, and smarter, and at the end, finally, I am really fucking smart. BOOYAH.

So whattaya say, know where to get some cocaine? Want to go halves on a fifty bag with me? I’ll do it all and then I’ll know how to get some more, and then I’ll share that cocaine with you, cool? Yes! Team Cocaine! Thank god, I think it might help this cocaine hangover.

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