Lessons from Milan: Dress for the Job You Want (No Job at All)

Dress for the job you want not the job you have. For those who want to skip work all together to hang on yachts, private jets, other *glam* forms of transportation, we have Milans fashion week. It’s v rich, v sexy, v fun. The Milan girl is a diva, but she is also high drama (like red bottoms and a bandage dress simply don’t have enough of a narrative for her). In my opinion the Milan girl is really smart in an unexpected way and I always go owff for her look. Let me elaborate on who the she is.

Emilio Pucci
The Pucci woman tried pot a couple times and it wasn’t her thing, but she’s not mad about it. Her husband, however, had a big stoner phase in college and is still known to have an occasional puff. With the legalization of marijuana in Colorado, the couple relocated to Aspen where he is now making their millions in the marijuana industry. As for his wife, she’s the vice president of the company and she’s spending her cut of the profits on Pucci.

Giorgio Armani
Okay so she LOVES The Great Gatsby. The movie, not the book. That’s about it.

Roberto Cavalli 
Her boyfriend’s in a band, he plays guitar while she sings Lou Reed. His band has a lot of radio popularity, but isn’t very good. He probably sings that “Why you gotta be so rude?” song. Nonetheless she insists he is a rockstar and strives to be the Bianca to his Mick.

Versace
She is kind of like the Cavalli girl except it is all about EDM instead of rock ‘n’ roll. She doesn’t want any of your molly, but she’s backstage at the rave puffing on an e-cig and taking selfies. She looks great.

The Milan girl, she’s so cool.

A Night Out with ASTR

ASTR on stage by Rebekah Campbell

“Got the club blowing up on Tuesday, got your girl in the cut and she choosy,” is the hook of iLoveMakonnen and Drake’s popular track right now, and I’m not really focused on Drake here but the lyrics apply when it comes to my night out last Tuesday with NY music duo ASTR. It started way too early that morning when my friend, photographer Rebekah Campbell, and I made our way to the 10 a.m. Timo Weiland show at Milk Studios. Zoe from ASTR would be sitting front-row and we tagged along.

1Zoe front row at Timo Weiland

2“Zoe you look too ‘music’, remember this is fashion!”

3“Omg Zo we r gonna b so thin after all this juicin”

I had been at fashion week parties most of the week but I had forgotten that people actually woke up mad early to drink free green juice from The Smile and watch the shows. “My current look is the Easter bonnet — tonight will be the turn-up dress,” Zoe joked as we waited for the show. Adam, the other half of ASTR, would be meeting up with us later at Westway to sound check for the Timo afterparty.

There was a beautiful lady also at the show who somehow at 10 a.m. was doing dark eye make-up and a floor length gold gown with jewelry. She looked more like an Oscar than a human existing at 10 a.m. More power to her we all agreed, “But, you know, try less,” Zoe joked. The try less motto was a concept both Adam and Zoe agreed about throughout the day. At one point in the car they shared a story about playing a show in a Texas department store, “Try Less!”

When the show was over we parted ways to nap and reconvene at 5:30 for sound check at Westway. Seeing clubs like that in the off hours is always weird. The magic is gone because you see the imperfections that all the crazy lighting hides. It was kind of dreary until the two started playing. I had never seen them perform before so this was my first sampling. Even without all of the lights and the turn-up dress it was cool and their music makes you want to dance even if you are in an empty club with all the lights up.

As soon as they were all set we rushed over to Prabal Gurung’s ICB show, another front-row seat for Zoe. We convinced Adam to join and made it over just in time.

4Adam and Zoe front-row at ICB

After snapping that photo Adam was told he couldn’t sit there. Despite being half of ASTR, the reason they are there, the interest is in Zoe because of the fashion aspect. This was kind of a theme in how the party and fashion people acted towards Adam unless told otherwise throughout the night. Adam really didn’t seem to mind. His main focus is his music he told me, and Zoe felt the same way when I talked to her. Fashion week is a lot of fun, it’s good to support these designers, and it’s good for press, but it isn’t super important to them. They talked a lot about getting back into the studio.

After the show we made our way over to Le Bain to meet their friend and fellow musician Wynter Gordon.

5Adam and Zoe playing in the light-up FriendsWithYou elephant that has been outside The Standard

6So Kleen

The party there was for a fashion blog called The Blonde Salad. None of us really knew what it was for but we were starved and they had tiny lobster rolls. At one point I spotted Miley’s mom, Tish Cyrus.

8Adam, Wynter, and Zoe in the stairwell of Le Bain

9
Wynter and Zoe inside of a toaster

10
Wynter, angry girl, and Adam

At this point the tiny lobster rolls were not enough and we needed to get fed before the Timo party. Wynter and Zoe headed to a NY Mag party for a second and we grabbed Vietnamese before Wynter picked us up and had her car bring us all down to Westway. Zoe did her vocal warm-ups on the go. We were mobbin’ deep, the team looked good, and we were ready for the game.

When we arrived Zoe changed into the third look of the day, the aforementioned turn-up dress — a cool, porous, knit dress—and the holes ended up being a prop in the onstage dancing. The performance was thrilling and had the audience going owfff. New fans approached them afterwards asking for photos, but also what their names were. They win people over quickly.

11
ASTR onstage at Westway

12
ASTR reaches for da starz

After the performance we hung out in a VIP room taking photos and talking *industry jargon* like, you know, Instagram. We had a long docket of potential parties we should hit after. There was Paper, Interview, Galore, Electric Room, AnOther, etc. We opted to check out AnOther but with chaos at the door we just sent Wynter and Zoe up to get a photo. When we got back to Wynter’s car we debated what would be best and decided to just rage quit and head back to Zoe’s apartment to hang. The next night Zoe texted me to ask if I’d be at the Jeremy Scott party– I had been planning on it, but after Tuesday, I just slept for about a week.

All photos by Rebekah Campbell

 

 

 

“Like Playing Deer Hunter, But with Celebrities” — NYFW’s Best Parties

Adult Magazine’s new issue at American Two Shot

Thursday night my buddy Corey Olsen; a photographer, and myself, whatever I am, decided we would hit some fashion week parties so you didn’t have to. After checking out the new issue of Adult magazine at American Two Shot we headed over to the Meatpacking because *we luv 2 party*. We met up with some friends to, you know, “paint the town red” or something and started making our way over to the Essential Homme party at Gilded Lily. Ja Rule was set to perform and I didn’t want to miss that. I also invited along my brother, Tucker, who works in finance and told me how he ended up at the Zana Bayne show earlier which sort of baffled all of us, including him.

We arrived at Essential Homme to a mob at the door and the news that nobody was getting in. By some grace of god, or perhaps just friendship with the PR, I managed to get our posse of nine in. However, once we got inside it became clear why the door was closed. The party was so full that despite getting inside there was no way of getting past the crowds of suave dudes. Our team decided that sadly this wasn’t the play, and turned back to the mean streets of the meatpacking.

Our crew dispersed with most of our friends heading to Chromat and ODD’s parties while Corey and I made our way over to Richard Chai’s after-party at Up & Down. The scene was vastly different — no insanity at door and room to breathe inside. We were quickly directed to the cool boy celebs we needed to take pics of — the Jonas brothers (Joe was DJing!), Darren Criss of Glee, and Richard Chai himself. I fancy myself a teen heartthrob so it was nice to be with my peers.

darren ashley richard Darren Criss, stylist Ashley Weston, and Richard Chai

jonas
Nick Jonas and friend

As I looked around for some of my actual peers I was surprised to not really recognize anyone until my girl Hari Nef rolled in looking gorgeous in green.

My babyI wore a logo-print presumably fake Dior cap all night

As more familiar faces rolled in we got to dancing and made our way upstairs (Get it? *UP* & *DOWN*, LOL) for Adult’s second party. The up became the down and the whole thing became sort of non-specific.

party girls dont get hurt“Party girls don’t get hurt” — Chandelier by Sia

david moses
Party girl David Moses

zak krevittParty girl Zak Krevitt

We eventually made our way to Boom Boom Room where all good parties happen. We couldn’t take photos but I’ll give you a couple fun facts and you will have to believe me. Outside I heard a guy scolding the door-girl, “Don’t stamp me, I have to model tomorrow.” RJ Mitte (another heartthrob, the son from Breaking Bad) was talking to Alessandria Ambrosio and they both looked real good. We sort of felt like we were playing Deer Hunter, but with celebrities, and whatever was cool that we could share with you was worth points. There wasn’t open bar so I paid $12 for their cheapest beer. We decided we were done running around looking for the best party/pum-pum/turn-up/jump-off and looked out over the skyline. Hari sighed in relief, “I’m living for the Freedom Tower; I’m living for the moon.”

All photos by Corey Olsen

Last Night’s VFiles DJ Championship

Image via VFiles Instagram

Last night VFILES kicked off fashion week with their Made Fashion show followed by the culmination of their DJ Championship with Def Jam all at Webster Hall. I missed the fashion show, but I made it in time for the high stakes DJ showdown which was kind of like The Gathering of the Juggalos but for fashion FUCCBOIS (in the best way!). There were pseudo-hood Moschino outfits, turnt-up interns, free beers, and DJ sets from the three competitors. In the end Gianni Lee, a designer and music producer, took the well deserved win (his set had my friends simply going owfffff).

https://soundcloud.com/giannilee1/mapei-x-kingdom-dont-wait-remix-gianni-lee-edit

Art Star Jeff Koons New H&M Bag Lands On Fifth Avenue

Jeff Koons and Julio Santo Domingo

When I first heard Jeff Koons was collaborating with retailer H&M I wasn’t really sure what to expect. Maybe some mylar-effect puffer jackets? A lobster print puffer jacket? A mylar/lobster print puffer jacket? Actually, Koons collaborated with H&M on a leather handbag printed with a photo of his famous balloon dog sculpture. The real sculpture will cost you over $50 million, but the bag costs just under $50. A real steal, and also a great solution for someone like me that can’t fit all my giant balloon dog sculptures in my tiny apartment. 

The launch party last night was held at H&M’s new 5th Avenue flagship. The crowd of guests included movie stars like Olivia Wilde and Ashley Benson along with art stars like Tim Barber and Jeanette Hayes. I tried to get a quote from Koons and Ashley, but when the time came I was quickly elbowed past by fashion writers more eager than myself, and suddenly not fast enough to reach them before fans bombarded them with requests for selfies. I gave up on the press pit and headed into the party a little disappointed that I didn’t get to ask Koons why he wasn’t carrying his own Koons bag like all the popular girls. I saw people buying as many as five of the purses, presumably to put the extras on eBay when they inevitably sell out, like H&M’s collabs in the past.

Beyond the chaos of the red carpet was a fun party with tiny fish tacos, a performance from teen cutie Birdy, some tipsy shopping, and crowding around Koons. While Koons sculptures have reflective surfaces that often make for a good #ARTSELFIE, the store’s mirrors provided for a new kind of #KOONSSELFIE in which the photographer/subject can now wear the Koons.

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Birdy

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Jeff Dorsman, Eric Zindorf

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Johannes Huebl

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Timo Weiland

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Olivia Wilde

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Lorenzo Martone

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Perez Hilton

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Nicky Hilton

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Cleo Wade, Margot

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
June Ambrose

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Jeff Koons, Julio Santo Domingo

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Katie Schmidt, Marybeth Schmidt

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Donna D’Cruz

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Alek Wek

H&M x JEFF KOONS 5th Ave Flagship Event
Ryan McGinness

All photos courtesy of BFA/H&M

Finding Myself in Kim Kardashian: Hollywood

This week Kim Kardashian released an iOS/Android game where you “join Kim Kardashian on a red carpet adventure” as her new and less famous friend as you climb your way up to the a-list by basically encroaching on Kim’s territory taking on appearance gigs and magazine features. After “kustomizing” your own character you meet Kim at your lame retail job and she obviously takes you along to a photoshoot which then launches your career as a socialite/ model/ actress/ celebrity/ nothing/ everything/ whatever. In order to gain fans you take on v grueling jobs like appearances at clubs or magazine shoots where you exchange your energy to improve your job performance by doing tasks like “mingling” and “striking a pose”.

This game really isn’t good but at the same time somewhat addicting and sort of a glammed-up LA version of my life. A good portion of my “work” consists of hosting parties or occasionally getting photographed for things. Guys, my IRL energy is often used for “mingling” and “striking a pose”, except I’m not killing it like Kim and this game has taught me all the reasons why.

As soon as I beat the game (and spend every last penny I have buying the $4.99 energy refills instead of waiting for them, duh) it’s possible I should leave New York and head towards somewhere sexy and warm with money and great Mexican food like LA, Miami, or Vegas (all locations you can visit in Kim Kardashian: Hollywood).

basking
A preview of what I might look like in a hotter and also #hotter city by Rachel Wark

routeThis is what it looks like in the game when you fly from NY seemingly east to LA

Once I’m there I will find myself a manager, a publicist, and a cool new look. My current look is too Shawn Hunter from Boy Meets World, I need to look more like Kanye or maybe Kris Jenner. The game also taught me you can totally get paid to do stuff with charities, there is so much money to be made in charity work! I’ll get my manager to set me up with an appearance gig at a charity event for sure. I’m also so done being a nodel, I want to be a model.

talent
If Kim thinks I have “talent” in the game then that must carry over IRL.

bible
She says “Bible.” These are the kinds of things I need to start doing

All-in-all this game has been really instrumental in finding myself. If you play I recommend skipping the location-based looping music and Kim’s occasional voice acting and instead maybe listen to trap remixes of Iggy Azalea or Kim’s old hit “Jam (Turn It Up)”, these will improve your gaming experience for sure. Be sure to also get in touch with Kim via social media and let her know what you think. Bible!

instacomment
I was sure to give Kimberly my two cents.