Weird Events Across The U.S. This Week

SAN FRANCISCO

Carrie Brownstein

Along with Fred Armisen, Carrie Brownstein is one half the creative force behind Portlandia, all the while rocking with her latest musical project, the four-piece female supergroup Wild Flag, and even working on a novel.

Wednesday, May 14, 7:30pm
Nourse Theatre
275 Hayes Street, San Francisco, CA

NEW YORK CITY

Video TALE

All storytellers on the bill incorporate video with their performances. Show features Nick Prueher of the fabulous Found Footage Festival – showing how he fooled morning TV shows posing as a fake chef.

Thursday, May 15th, 7:00
Videology
308 Bedford Ave, Brooklyn 11211
Free

LOS ANGELES

SUBLIMINAL PROJECTS presents SHEPARD FAIREY: 50 Shades of Black

The artwork in 50 Shades of Black is inspired by the 12-inch record cover format. Since 2006, Fairey, a DJ and music enthusiast, has continuously created artwork with the record cover template in mind.

April 16 – May 17
Subliminal Projects
1331 W Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, CA

CHICAGO

“Unfinished Business: The Right to Play”

Through the Prison + Neighborhood Art Project, Stateville Correctional Center inmates find creative ways to serve out their sentences.

Through 5/1/15: Tue-Fri 10 AM-4 PM, Sun noon-4 PM
Jane Addams Hull-House Museum
800 S. Halsted

 

Moral Robots, Biggest Losers + Google Glass for All

Vermont Becomes Latest State to Hike Minimum Wage
The $10.50 per hour floor by 2018 is highest in the country… so far.

iPhone 6 With Larger Screen in Testing
Apple is preparing to release a new iPhone with a larger screen later this year.

The Military Wants To Build Robots With Morals
Their goal is to build a sense of right and wrong and moral consequence into autonomous robotic systems.

The Inside Story Of The Birth Of The NSA’s Electronic Surveillance Program
The story of America’s biggest intelligence leak started simply: with an email.

Now Anyone In The U.S. Can Buy Google Glass
Douchebags, are you listening?

‘Searching For Sugar Man’ Director Dead At 36
Swedish police say no crime suspected in death of filmmaker who won 2013 Oscar for documentary about the elusive musician.

Former Contestant Reveals The Horrible World Of ‘The Biggest Loser’
“If you didn’t act grateful enough, or you had the audacity to demand to be treated like a human being, they made you look like a huge jerk on TV.

35% Of People Have Never Heard Of The Holocaust
About a quarter of the world’s population agrees that a number of negative statements about Jews are “probably true,” according to a poll aimed at providing a statistical underpinning to the question of how widespread anti-Semitism is globally.

Condoms for NY Sex Workers, World Cup Robbery Tips + Sterling’s Apology

Donald Sterling Apologizes During CNN Interview
He blames his racist comments on Paula Dean…

Neil deGrasse Tyson Praises Scientist Who Knew to Check His Religion at the Door
It’s hard to please the dogmatic creationists, who fundamentally hate science.

Why Marijuana Works Better Than Opiates to Control Pain
One compelling argument for the legalization of medical marijuana is its ability to ameliorate intense pain.

Clay Aiken’s Opponent Dies Suddenly
Less than a week after losing to former American Idol Clay Aiken in a close North Carolina primary election for Congress, 71-year-old businessman Keith Crisco died in a fall at his home. Is this the start of the Aiken Curse? 

Radio Host Casey Kasem Is Missing
At a hearing Monday, a lawyer for his wife, Jean, said “I have no idea where he is” and claimed he had been removed from the country.

Heads Up, Assholes: NYPD Cracks Down On Texting And Pedestrian-Ignoring Drivers Today
The NYPD is on day one of a two-day crackdown on drivers who aren’t paying attention to the rules of the road.

NYPD Will Stop Seizing Condoms From Sex Workers
According to a department release for minor arrests: “Condoms will be secured for safe keeping along with other items of personal property and returned to individuals after they are released from custody.”

Artist H.R. Giger Dies At 74
Swiss artist H.R. Giger designed the creature in Ridley Scott’s sci-fi horror classic Alien.

Brazilian Police Warn Visitors: Don’t Scream If Robbed

Brazilian police have put together a pamphlet of top tips for staying safe during the World Cup next month, with suggestions such as making sure not to scream if someone tries to rob you.

Strangers Want to Send You Money!

Yesterday I turned on the Internet. To my surprise, I got an email from Adrian and Gillian Bayford. They sent the email to me, yes, me! a random person on the Internet! It read simply as follows: 

My Wife And I Are Donating 850,000,00 To You, Reply NAME*……. ADDRESS*……MOBILE*………OCCUPATION*……..AGE*……. Country

My first thought: HOLY FUCK! HOW DID THE BAYFORD COUPLE FIND ME!? THEY WANT TO SEND ME 850,000!!!!!!

Though I didn’t know if 850,000 meant dollars, pounds, euros, or rublesm you can still image my excitement. To verify that the generous offer from Adrian and Gillian Bayford was 100% true, I did a little web research on this philanthropist couple. It turns out the married duo is from England and won £148million in the lottery. Here’s a picture of them spraying a garden hose (Above is a photo of them opening some champagne and wastefully spraying it everywhere.)

PICTURE 1

The reason the couple is spraying a garden hose is that they are Britain’s second biggest jackpot winners. The mega-wealthy Bayford couple must have more money than they can handle — that’s why they contacted me, to take some of it off their hands. I was about to send them all the information they needed to get the transaction rolling until I saw a Google link that made me frown:

Criminals Use Names of Lottery Winners Adrian and Gillian Bayford in Advance Fee Scams

Emails purporting to be from UK EuroMillions winners Adrian and Gillian Bayford claim that the recipient’s email address was selected as a winner of a cash grant of one million pounds

This is actually a scam email written by….(wait for it)….SCAMMERS!!! Other scam emails sent, claiming to be the couple read as follows:

We know this may come as a big surprise to you but It will interest you to know that your email address was selected alongside other 19 lucky email addresses out of thousands of internet users worldwide. Random selection was done by the legal advisers to this donation programme, declaring YOU as a lucky individual for a cash grant of 1 million pounds from us. This may sound like a joke or a hoax but please have no doubt as it is 100% real…Hence we expect you to reply back to us immediately through our contact email address below for more details on how to get receive your cash grant.

The email carries links to online news reports on the Bayford’s lottery winning story and requests a transaction sum of £110 from the recipient to receive the generous gift — but money shall never come.

Damn you, scammers! And damn you, Bayfords. How dare you crush my dreams of a large sum of money being sent to me without having to do any backbreaking work! Go spray your garden hose in the privacy of your new mansion. I just don’t want to hear about it!

Bearded Eurovision, Stolen Bikes + London Billionaires

Bearded Austrian Drag Queen Wins Eurovision
For the first in nearly three decades, Austria won the Eurovision Song Contest — and it was all thanks to a bearded drag queen.

Ukraine Forces Open Fire on Crowd
The Ukrainian national guard opened fire Sunday on a crowd outside a town hall in eastern Ukraine.

Nigeria Refused Help Finding Girls
Nigerian president Goodluck Jonathan is already under fire for delays in the search for the over 300 kidnapped school girls and ignoring warnings leading up to it.

London Has the Most Billionaires
Conversely, it also has the most wankers.

How To Get Your Bike Back After It’s Been Stolen
Less than half of stolen bicycles are recovered by police and barely 5 percent are reunited with their owners.

Inside The NYPD’s Program To Recruit Muslims Informers
The Police Department’s anti-terrorism unit combs the city’s jails for Muslim immigrants to see if any might be persuaded to become police informants.

Putin Is As Good At Hockey As He Is At Bare-Chested Horseback Riding
The Russian president scored multiple goals and managed to glide down the ice very slowly, with the opposing team watching from a safe distance.

ReBar Owner Owed IRS Millions, Claim Former Employees
Former reBar owner Jason Stevens has seemingly disappeared.

 

5 People Who Would Be Fined For Profanity in Russia

As you know, it’s now illegal to use profanity in Russian arts.  “Foul language” will soon carry fines ranging from 2,000 rubles ($56) for individuals to as high as 100,000 rubles for legal entities. The law also restricts the public showing of films containing swearing.

But Russia has a deep history of swearing. Mat is the term for strong obscene profanity in Russian. The use of mat is censored in the media and the use of mat in public constitutes a form of disorderly conduct, or mild hooliganism. Fucking hell!

PHOTO1

Mikhail Lermontov, “A Holiday in Peterhof” – 1834

And so, I will not pay you
However, if you are a simple blyad (whore)

You should consider it an honour
To be acquainted with the cadet’s khuy!

Photo2

Ivan Barkov, “Luka Mudishchev”, an obscene Russian poet who lived in the 18th century.

Oh you, men’ wives, or widows fair,
Or maids with ‘cherry’ there intact!
Let me tell you some humble fact
About fucking out there.

Photo 3

 “And Quiet Flows the Don “a Cossack song by Mikhail Sholokhov (1928- 1940)

“Уху я варила” translates to “Ooh, I cooked a dick.”

 

BRITAIN LONDON PUSSY RIOT PROTEST

Pussy Riot: A Punk Prayer.

 Virgin Mary, Mother of God, banish Putin, banish Putin
Virgin Mary, Mother of God, we pray thee, banish him!

How to Say Bad Words in Russian 

The guy who created this video would surely be fined.

 

 

E-Cig Ban, Obama Slurs and Mother’s Day History

Romney Says: Raise the Minimum Wage
“I, for instance, as you know, part company with many of the conservatives in my party on the issue of the minimum wage. I think we ought to raise it.”

The  Birth  of  the  $60  Billion  Videogame  Industry
Sonic the Hedgehog, Super Mario Bros., and Sega’s war on Nintendo.

ABC Picks Up A Comedy Called ‘Selfie’
I already hate it….

North Korea Unleashes Ethnic Slurs Against Obama
North Korea’s state news agency has fired off racist insults against President Barack Obama that U.S. officials condemn as “disgusting.”

Are You Really Entitled To A Phone Call When Arrested?
It turns out, “You get exactly one phone call when arrested” is a useful, simple plot element, and easier to explain to an audience than, “being arrested is a legal minefield where your rights can vary based on a variety of factors.”

The Surprisingly Dark History Of Mother’s Day
It was founded for mourning women to remember fallen soldiers and work for peace.

Man Busted With $20K Of Heroin In Port Authority Bus Terminal
Gobert Taveras, a 32-year-old Bronx resident, was arrested at about 9 a.m. yesterday morning after Port Authority cops spotted him placing a brown paper bag on the ground in the bus terminal, then walk away from it and return to it on multiple occasions.

 NJ Bill Wants To Ban Smoking, Including E-Cigs, On All NJ College Campuses
Also ban being a douchbag…

No F*cking Way! Russia Cracks Down on Profanity in the Arts

An Open Letter To Russia: 

Russia, you’re kind of losing favor in my book. I’m really going to have to think about cancelling my trip to you this summer to see my good friend Edward Snowden. Russia, first you locked up my favorite hot girl band that wears stocking caps, Pussy Riot (only to let them free right before the Olympics as a complete PR move), then, Russia, you marched in and invaded the Ukraine. And now you want to crack down on profanity in the arts.

Via the Wall Street Journal:

President Vladimir Putin signed a law that restricts the use of profanity in the arts, the latest move in a push to reinforce what the Kremlin calls traditional values in Russia.

The new law, which takes effect July 1, covers literature, theater, film and recorded music. It was opposed by some theater personalities, writers and performers, whose works will now have to be issued in special packaging indicating that they include profanities.

The law doesn’t spell out specifically what constitutes “foul language” but sets fines for its use in works of art ranging from 2,000 rubles ($56) for individuals to as high as 100,000 rubles for legal entities. The law also restricts the public showing of films containing swearing.

What a bunch of bullshit, Russia! What’s more offensive: profanity or discriminating against homosexuals with your anti-gay laws? Russia, does enforcing “traditional values” mean turning back to the clocks to long bread lines and religious persecution as well?

Russia, you have a great history of profanity (and borscht as well); some your most prominent works of literature — as far back as the 19th century — include a rich vocabulary of curse words. Russia, you even have an incredibly rich and versatile swear sub-language called mat, which is based on four key stems: two denoting male and female genitalia, one denoting the act of copulation, and a word denoting a prostitute.

Russia, like most cultures, swearing is absolutely embedded in your language. No statute or bill can alter that.

With this new bill, I thank you Russia — for fueling a new generation of Russian punk bands who just wont give a fuck.

Creepy Hamas Kids Show, Pot Food Truck + Purity Balls

Creepy Character on Hamas TV Show Teaches Kids to ‘Shoot Jews’
In a clip posted by Palestinian Media Watch, a little child says she’d like to become a cop “so that I can shoot Jews.”

Woman Films Her Own Abortion to Show Procedure Isn’t Scary
“I wanted to show it wasn’t scary — and that there is such a thing as a positive abortion story,” Letts wrote in Cosmopolitan.

Marijuana Treats on the Go: Seattle Company Rolls Out First Pot Edibles Food Truck
The truck is dishing up items like grilled three-cheese sandwiches, tomato soup and truffle popcorn. The twist? They’re made with marijuana.

Purity Balls, Plan B and Bad Sex Policy: Inside America’s Virginity Obsession
In a clip from a Nightline Prime episode on these disconcerting events, a father tells his braces-clad daughter, “You are married to the Lord, and your father is your boyfriend.”

Occupy Wall Street Activist Found Guilty Of Assaulting Police Officer
An Occupy Wall Street activist is facing up to seven years in prison after being convicted by a jury in Manhattan of assaulting a New York police officer as he led her out of a protest.

Infamous Mandela Sign Language Interpreter Is Now Doing Commercials
Well, media, you did make him a celebrity…

Russia Cracks Down On Profanity In The Art
Putin signs law to restrict ‘foul language’ in books, on stage and in film. Pussy Riot – where are you when we need you?

Rob Ford in Trouble at Rehab
Anyone who brags about how great rehab is will surely be doing crack on the streets again in a month.

Slut-Shaming Preacher
Campus preacher Brother Dean Saxton caused outrage after preaching at the University of Arizona and holding a sign that read, “YOU DESERVE RAPE.”