Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow to Blame for Shooting Rampage?

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There’s no argument that guns weren’t involved in the horrific shooting in Santa Barbara, but guns seem to be lowest on the media’s fault list for the rampage.

Ann Hornaday is an astute writer for the Washington Post. As an astute writer, she came to the (asinine) conclusion that shooter Elliot Rodger’s Santa Barbara shooting rampage was due to comedy stars such as Seth Rogan and Judd Apatow permeating American pop culture with comedies that give an unrealistic worldview to people like Rodger.

Rodger’s rampage may be a function of his own profound distress, but it also shows how a sexist movie monoculture can be toxic for women and men alike. How many students watch outsized frat-boy fantasies like Neighbors and feel, as Rodger did, unjustly shut out of college life that should be full of ‘sex and fun and pleasure’? How many men, raised on a steady diet of Judd Apatow comedies in which the shlubby arrested adolescent always gets the girl, find that those happy endings constantly elude them and conclude, ‘It’s not fair’?

Seth Rogan responded:

 

Not to be outdone by Hornaday, irrelevant Tea Party member Joe the Plumber, aka Samuel Wurzelbacher, trumped her idiotic comment by publishing an open letter to one of the shooting victim’s father:

“Your dead kids don’t trump my Constitutional rights.”

Mr. The Plumber added: 

“We still have the Right to Bear Arms and I intend to continue to speak out for that right, and against those who would restrict it — even in the face of this horrible incident by this sad and insane individual. I almost said ‘Obama Voter’ but I’m waiting for it to be official.”

Meanwhile, a FOX News commentator/hack shrink Dr. Robi Ludwig said that Rogers was probably gay:

 

So rest assured NRA! As noted, guns had “zero” to do with the attack, even though the people were killed with guns.

Driverless Cars, Snowden Spy, + Bill Murray

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Bill Murray Gave This Spontaneous Speech At A Stranger’s Bachelor Party
Travel around the world and get married at JFK, he told the group of young men.

Snowden: I Was an Undercover Spy
“I was trained as a spy in sort of the traditional sense of the word, in that I lived and worked undercover overseas—pretending to work in a job that I’m not—and even being assigned a name that was not mine.”

Google Unveils Self-Driving Car
The cars have two seats, no steering wheel, gas, or brake pedal—just a stop-and-go button. If all goes well, 100 to 200 of the cars are expected to be driving on California roads in a pilot program next year.

Long Island School Bans Backpacks
Fanny packs are still open game.

Why Online Games Make Players Act Like Psychopaths
Dying in DayZ isn’t like dying in other videogames. The game, developed by Bohemia Interactive, has “configured death with an extreme level of consequentiality not found in other online first-person-shooters.”

How The Gun Lobby Scapegoats Mental Illness
After a tragedy, gun companies want us discussing anything but guns. Here’s how both parties, and the media, comply.

Literary Icon Maya Angelou dead at 86
The civil rights activist, poet and novelist will be remembered as a pioneer.

Visiting The Online Shrine For A Drug Forum’s Dead
Heroin overdoses are common and meth lab explosions seem to kill regularly.

 

Miley Rides a Hot Dog, Bangerz Tour Ticket Sales Plummet

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Doesn’t twerking look like the act of a diseased dog in Tijuana with bad diarrhea? It’s soooo 2013. I got a slight theory: Miley Cyrus does things to attract publicity. No I’m serious. She does things like ride giant phallic hot dogs, because hot dogs are in the same shape as penises, get the connection? Miley Cyrus is so shocking! in a very contrived PR-media-blitz, crotch-grabbing sort of way.

Apparently, Miley’s 15 minutes of twerking might be over. According to The Hollywood Gossip:

Industry analysts say it’s not the fear that the show will be canceled that’s keeping fans away. Instead, they claim sluggish sales on the European leg of the tour are simply the result of overpriced tickets and an act that may be growing stale.

Forbes estimated that Miley has failed to sell out “as many as half” of the remaining concerts on her tour; uncommon for an artist of her stature. Miley has been accused of knee-jerk attention-getting stunts to get her name in the Buzzfeed headlines, but two hours of the same stunts would get very tedious.

According to Noisey, here’s how the show goes down:

She begins the show pleasuring herself on the top bonnet of a car, before aggressively attacking her crotch while screaming at the crowd to “mind your business, stay in your lane bitch, I’m a southern belle, I get crazier than hell.” Later, she flies through the arena straddled across a giant hot dog and, in one video interlude, appears gagged with tape on her tits and flowers sticking out her anus. 

Get it: she used to be Hannah Montana, that’s the joke! The over-sexualization comes across as trying to hard, and plummeting ticket sales trumpet that the joke just isn’t funny anymore. No matter how edgy Miley might think she is, her core group of fans are most likely accompanied to the concert by their parents, who are paying for the tickets. I imagine the most entertaining thing about the Bangerz tour is witnessing the stunned expression on dads forced to watch the onslaught with their kids.

Tracey Emin’s Bed, Christians and Gay Marriage, + Bad Waiters

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Tracey Emin’s ‘My Bed’ Is Up For Sale
Few pieces of art have divided opinion quite like My Bed – in which Tracey Emin claimed to have spent a week after a bad break-up. Fifteen years on, it can be yours for an estimated price of between £800,000 and £1.2m.

How the NRA Enables Massacres
As a shooting spree leaves seven dead in California, the gun lobby is trying to thwart attempts to study gun deaths and officials who see gun violence as a public health crisis.

Did Christians Get Gay Marriage Right?
The marriage equality fight is all but won. Will the future of marriage be boring as hell, or a Bible-thumper’s idea of Sodom and Gomorrah?

Pope to Meet Sex-Abuse Victims
David Clohessy, the executive director of Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests (SNAP), said “The simple truth is this is another gesture, another public-relations coup, another nice bit of symbolism that will leave no child better off and bring no real reform to a continuing, scandal-ridden church hierarchy.”

The Worst Waiter in History
Edsel Ford Fong — the world’s most insulting waiter —  greeted patrons with a “sit down and shut up!

Miley Cyrus’s Bangerz Tour: When Sex Stops Selling
The only thing more entertaining than the Bangerz tour is witnessing the stunned expression of short-straw dads watching it with their kids. There were plenty of empty seats at the O2 and, unusually for an artist of her sway, she only played one night there.

Snowden Journalist Set To Make ‘Biggest’ Disclosure Yet
Glenn Greenwald, the journalist who helped NSA leaker Edward Snowden expose state secrets to the world, is set to make his “biggest” disclosure yet — the names of Americans the government spied on.

NYPD Officers To Carry Heroin Overdose Antidotes
Thousands of New York City police officers should soon be carrying emergency antidotes to help deal with the recent spike in heroin overdoses.

 

Why The Terrorists Hate Us: Doggy Fat Camps

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Why do terrorists hate America? Is it because they hate freedom? Is it because they hate our way of life? Do they view us as a rich, decadent society full of gluttony and excess? Do they simply hate our foreign policy as the so-called “liberators” of the world?

If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, you are wrong.

The reason why the terrorists hate us is: Doggy Fat Camps. Yes, fitness clubs for our fat pets. We’re such a decadent society that even our nation’s pets are getting obese and have their very own workout spa. The Morris Animal Inn in New Jersey not only runs doga sessions (yoga for dogs), but also has a canine gym equipped with treadmills, exercise balls, and an indoor swimming pool.

Can you imagine living in a 3rd world country—where you can barely feed your family —and find out that in America dogs have their own health club where they are pampered in a luxury spa? Wouldn’t your head explode? Doggy exercise programs range from the ‘Olympian,’ at a daily rate of about $100, to the ‘Athlete,’ at about $40 a day.

Please terrorists, don’t hate us. We apologize that we can’t exercise our own pets and, instead, send them to expensive doga sessions.

Electric Chair, Drug Dealing Vets, and Queer Kurdish Art Rock

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Drug Dealing Inside Miami V.A. Hospital
A V.A. law enforcement officer is accusing Miami’s V.A. Hospital of drug dealing, patient abuse and other crimes.

Twitter Censors ‘Blasphemous’ Tweets
For the first time since it operated in Pakistan, Twitter has begun to censor tweets deemed “blasphemous” or “unethical” by bureaucrats in the Pakistani government.

Putin: Russia Will Respect Ukraine Vote
President Vladimir Putin says that Russia will recognize the outcome of Ukraine’s presidential vote.

Tennessee Brings Back the Electric Chair
Welcome back ‘Ol Sparky. Retro death!

WikiLeaks Says Afghanistan is NSA Target
According to WikiLeaks, the NSA records and stores almost all domestic and international phone calls in Afghanistan, which it says is an important part of the drone targeting program.

Billy Corgan and His Cats Give Us The Magazine Cover We Never Knew We Needed
Billy Corgan featured for his support of a cause that will make you purr.

Meet the New Faces of Queer Kurdish Art Rock
The Berlin-born Turkish singer and songwriter produces songs in two Kurdish dialects. Tekîn’s band Adirjam is gaining steam for being the uniquely first Kurdish queer art rock band.

Google is Working to Build a Wi-Fi Network in the Cloud
Google plans to offer business Wi-Fi services in a very Google-like way; it’s building a virtual Wi-Fi network in the cloud that could connect hundreds of thousands of wireless nodes.

Neil deGrasse Tyson Explains How Rich Bill Gates is
Neil deGrasse Tyson helps put Bill Gates’ fortune in perspective.

World Cup Watch: Controversy and Subways

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With the World Cup under a month away, excitement is ramping up from football (soccer) fans across the planet. It’s the greatest sporting contest on earth, where country vs. country goes head-to-head.

How is Brazil going to handle the beautiful game? In Sao Paulo there’s a bus strike (not good)— it makes you wonder how the city will accommodate  the huge influx of World Cup attendees. Here’s what the Sao Paulo subway looks like just a few weeks before the World Cup. Help!

For every World Cup, there’s always a few bad eggs. Brazilian police have put together security guidelines for visitors traveling to the event, including much needed advice to tourists not to scream if robbed:

“Don’t fight, scream or argue,” advises a brochure filled with World Cup safety tips compiled by the São Paulo police that will be published in four different languages, Brazilian newspaper Estadao de Sao Paulo first reported.

According to São Paulo-based writer, Kevin Raub: “People have been killed over a backpack and others have been killed simply out of frustration when the thieves couldn’t get what they wanted. It’s best not to antagonize them whatsoever.”

With every World Cup, there comes controversy—be it Maradona’s Hand of God score, or a Zidane headbutt.

Brazilian artist Paulo Ito’s World Cup mural goes viral:

After spending $11 billion on World Cup preparations, tensions are understandably high to make the event a major success. And Brazilian artist Paulo Ito has succinctly summarised the discontent in a mural at a schoolhouse.

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“Two years ago I painted in an abandoned building and I was thinking to paint something about poverty, but when I went inside I changed my mind,” Ito said. “They already live what I was supposed to paint.” Instead, Ito said he painted what the people asked him for: football team symbols, and SpongeBob SquarePants.

 

Stop and Frisk for the Soul, Marijuana Sizzurp, + Buying Fame

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Image via @actabliss on Instagram

Penn. Gov. Won’t Appeal Gay Marriage
Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett, who is running for reelection, chose a path followed by fellow Republican governors Chris Christie and Brian Sandoval, who both abandoned appeals they thought they would not win.

Boston Bomber Used Christmas Lights
“The marathon bombs were constructed using improvised fuses made from Christmas lights and improvised, remote-control detonators fashioned from model-car parts,” prosecutors wrote.

Iran ‘Happy’ Video Teens Released
Six Iranian teenagers were released on bail Wednesday, three days after being arrested for creating their own video for Pharrell Williams’s hit “Happy.”

Uber Launches in Saudi Arabia
Uber, the popular taxi service ordered via a smartphone app, is launching today in Saudi Arabia’s capital, Riyadh. But don’t expect any female drivers to show up—women are still not allowed to drive in the kingdom.

France Buys Trains Too Fat for Stations
Whooops!

What Stop And Frisk Does To A Young Man’s Soul
Every afternoon when Trey left school in his car, two white patrolmen would follow him in their cruiser, sometimes a few blocks, sometimes several miles, before turning on their patrol lights.

The Daily Show’s Jason Jones Paid To Be Famous In India
Jason Jones traveled to India to learn about its form of democracy. What he found was that for the right price, anyone can buy good press. Of course he bought some.

Marijuana Sizzurp Hits The LA Market
The real sizzurp doesn’t make you stupid enough, right? So what you really need is a marijuana-infused sizzurp!

Why So Many Rock Stars Only Make It To 27
When Kurt Cobain committed suicide 20 years ago, the idea of the 27 Club entered the public consciousness.

 

FBI Going Hippie-Dippie in Weed and Hiring Practices?

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The Federal Bureau of Investigation is as straight-laced as it gets. But the agency’s announcement on new hiring practices makes you think that the FBI attended last year’s Burning Man festival.

READ WITH ME:

FBI Director James B. Comey said Monday that if the FBI hopes to continue to keep pace with cyber criminals, the organization may have to loosen up its no-tolerance policy for hiring those who like to smoke marijuana.

The FBI notoriously has a policy of not accepting job applicants who have smoked pot in the last three years, but it appears the federal agency may be relaxing that rule. It’s a new age of criminal, and the FBI has to keep up with the pace of global baddies. On Monday, the Justice Department charged five Chinese military officials with hacking, and brought charges against the creators of Blackshades, malicious software that allows users to surreptitiously peep into the computers and web cameras of others–Miss Teen USA, you have our solidarity! –thus the need for a new, elite breed of FBI agent; millennial programmers who also like to get baked on the bammie.

Says James B. Comey, “I have to hire a great work force to compete with those cyber criminals and some of those kids want to smoke weed on the way to the interview.”

Wow! Does FBI now stand for Firing Blunts Incessantly?

Before you jump to the conclusion that all this sounds like the makings of a crazy sitcom created by the producers of The IT Crowd, late this afternoon Comey clarified his comments made at the FBI oversight hearing. Apparently, he was attempting to use a rhetorical device called “humor” regarding the subject of new hires.

“I am determined not to lose my sense of humor, but unfortunately there I was trying to be both serious and funny,” Comey said. “I am absolutely dead-set against using marijuana. I don’t want young people to use marijuana. It’s against the law.” Adding, like the guy who just peed in the punchbowl, “We have a three-year ban on marijuana. I did not say that I am going to change that ban.”

Bah. Foiled. And the stoners would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling teenagers!