Shia LaBeouf Was Almost Cast as Oliver in ‘Call Me by Your Name’

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By now, you’ve probably heard of Call Me by Your Name. You know, that film about Armie Hammer’s struggle with amnesia and his inability to call himself by anything other than someone else’s name.

Joking. The big, great gay romance film of the year staring Armie Hammer and Timothée Chalamet as the star-crossed lovers Oliver and Elio, respectively, is not about amnesia. It’s about peaches and Sufjan Stevens songs. It’s also apparently so powerfully moving that it caused Hammer to fall in love with director Luca Guadagnino.

But all of that love-making almost didn’t happen. In a new interview with Guadagnino, it’s been revealed that the entire film could’ve been very, very, very different. As in, so different it would’ve starred Shia LaBeouf as Oliver, which would’ve been terrible. In the James Ivory directed film that now exists solely in an alternate reality, LaBeouf would’ve played the grad student that Elio falls hopelessly in love with. The world may be terrible, but at least we can rest easy tonight knowing that Oliver is played to perfection by Hammer.

Oh, and the director also wants you to know that he tried masturbating with a peach because he wanted to prove that it wasn’t possible, so they wouldn’t have to do it. Turns out that it was not only possible, but when he went to Timothée and told him, the young actor said, “Of course it works! I tried it myself as well.”

Call Me by Your Name will be in theaters next Friday.