Make Some NYT Op-Ed Columnists Fight to the Death

That tears it: David Brooks’s just fantastically idiotic argument against freedom(!) in The New York Times yesterday—not going to link, you’re welcome—has me convinced that a few of the Gray Lady’s opinion-machines need to be put in a death dome and forced to fight a battle royale. Don’t act like you’re not with me.

Not all of them, okay? I’d like to see Paul Krugman in a little referee outfit, for one. And Gail Collins would provide sparkling color commentary, I’ve no doubt. But to see Thomas Friedman pile-drive Nicholas Kristof, only to have Kristof produce a machete from his last African sojourn and spill the man’s guts: oh man.

Brooks, I think, will have to take on Ross Douthat for the position of so-called token moderate conservative. The two of them hacking into each other with barbed-wired baseball bats would be such a glorious literalization of their day-to-day work. Winner goes on to face Maureen Dowd, who will not be permitted to assume her dragon form.

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