You ever stop and think about the saddest thing in the solar system? No, not the time Suzanne dumped you right before the Eighth Grade Spring Formal. I’m talking about the space probe Voyager 1, the most far-flung piece of human-made junk in history, which has been hurtling away from us in utter isolation for 35 years. Anyway, it won’t be dragging its melancholy butt through our solar system much longer.
Voyager 1, you see, “has now entered a new and mysterious region of the heliosphere nicknamed the ‘magnetic highway.’” I think the word “mysterious” here likely refers to the many alien ghost sightings in that area and its general haunted-house-like vibe. Either that or it’s a way for scientists to tacitly admit they have no goddamn clue what goes on there. Soon, however, our friendless drifter of a spacecraft will.
After that, it’s interstellar space. A realm where "high-energy particles" will bounce off Voyager 1’s instruments. What will our aged little appliance think of that? Does it know how it came to be in exile from its distant home—how it is destined for the slow eons of immortal inertia, a meaningless vector into the void? These are just a few of the questions that should help you sleep tonight.
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