Red rose petals, candelabras, chocolate hearts and giant teddy bears…yawn.
Year after year, Valentine’s Day touts the same ‘romantic’ goodies to couples confined by unimaginative capitalistic desires. But it doesn’t have to be the same pink-and-red picture of perfection in 2018 – which is why we’ve decided to search for the best of the alternative, artful options this V-Day. Whether you’re single and looking for something to distract your melancholy mind, or someone in a relationship looking to step outside the familiar with your beau, may we recommend…
Feasting While Basking In the Glory of Call Me By Your Name
Head over to Brooklyn’s Alamo Drafthouse if you’re looking for a quiet cry with Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer, as they fall in love in one of the year’s best films, Call Me By Your Name. And while you’re in the arthouse cinema, enjoy a four-course meal prepared by executive chef Ronnie New and bar manager Vincent Favella.
“When I first saw CMBYN, I was so taken with it and found it to be one of the most romantic movies I had ever seen,” explains NYC program manager Cristina Cacioppo. “I knew we would still be showing it around Valentine’s Day, so I spoke to our chef about creating a feast. Most scenes of the film take place before, during or after a meal, and having taken trips to Italy with my family, I was excited by all of the culinary possibilities.”
The four course menu includes soft boiled egg, roasted sardine, ricotta tortellini, and, of course, peach crostada with vanilla ice cream.
“We definitely had to include peaches in some form on the menu,” reckons Cacioppo. “But overall, I wanted to celebrate the setting of the film.”
Getting Mopey at a Smiths and Morrissey Tribute Concert
Over at Gowanus’ The Bell House, people will really let themselves get melancholy with a show by The Sons & Heirs, a Smiths & Morrissey tribute band called “Twice as fun as an actual Morrissey show” by Rolling Stone. The band has performed onstage with Smiths bassist Andy Rourke and Morrissey’s drummer Spencer Cobrin. Tickets available here.
Getting Smashed to How Stella Got Her Groove Back
There’s one obvious solution to the Valentine blues that you won’t often find in a polite guide to the best romantic spots in town: getting absolutely trashed to a rom-com. This is an activity just as pleasant alone as it is with a friend or lover, and, thankfully, the Alamo Drafthouse has stepped up to the plate once more with specialty cocktails accompanying a V-Day screening of How Stella Got Her Groove Back.
Bar manager Vincent Favella created speciality Jamaican cocktails to accompany the film, including a ginger daiquiri called The Art of Seduction. His process of pairing drinks with films is simple and foolproof: “Wine for lovely movies. Beer and shots for bro movies. Cocktails for action films.”
Watching a Comedian Go Live on Tinder
You’re tired of unsuccessfully using dating apps – but you’re not tired of watching other people be unsuccessful before your very eyes. Which is why you should head over to Littlefield if you want a good V-Day laugh. Comedian Lane Moore will go through her Tinder account live and chat with and call men right in front of you. She’ll be joined by veteran standups Jon Friedman and Aparna Nancherla. Tickets here.
Checking out Animals’ Sex Lives at the Museum of Sex
If you’re feeling particularly raunchy, but don’t have anyone to sleep with or just want a break from routine, head over to Manhattan’s Museum of Sex. There’s currently an exhibition on display titled The Sex Lives of Animals, and it’s about exactly what you think (yes, there’s a statue of pandas fornicating.) Not into that? You could always just hang out in their room full of inflatable breasts.