Bloomberg To Hillary Clinton: “All This Will One Day Be Yours”

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New York mayor-for-nearly-life Michael Bloomberg, the Times confirmed yesterday, encouraged secretary of state Hillary Clinton, who is departing her current post, to run for his position in 2013, insisting that she’d be ideal in the role. Hillary, in rebuffing that advice (threat? offer to pay for a coronation ceremony?) set in motion a Shakespearean political drama.

Because as Hill Clinton “retires” to upstate New York—or maybe Clinton Hill, if she feels like making things extra confusing—Bloomberg will continue to look for someone to back as his successor better than the “Christine C. Quinn, the City Council speaker, who cleared a path for his third term by backing a change to the city’s term-limit law.” That kind of dynasty looks pretty shady, no? So he’ll be getting Macbeth-level desperate to secure his legacy and continued power.

Meanwhile, Hillary will be plotting her 2016 run for president on the tail end of Obama’s miraculous economic recovery and realize that she’s going up against Jeb Bush. Who the fuck needs to go to war with the rival clansmen again? At the eleventh hour, the Clintons ride into Manhattan to Bloomberg’s rescue. Together the three of them rule the islands of New York as a sovereign state, a Vatican City of neoliberalism. Heck, they might even decriminalize big sodas. 

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