You know what? Let’s call this one a wash before it goes any further. I can already tell your heart is not in this. God knows it took every ounce of what meager willpower you possess to come back to the office for those few days after New Year’s. No need to be a hero.
Can you really be expecting anything good to come of the next 168 hours? Best-case scenario, there’s a political disaster today, a financial calamity tomorrow, a shooting spree on Wednesday and then freak sequence of ice tornadoes. Is there such a thing as ice tornadoes? Stick around, you’ll find out.
Seriously, sneak out of here right now. I’ll do my best to cover for you, but you’re not gonna get a better chance than this. If it looks like your boss might catch you in the lobby, try ducking behind that tall potted plant nobody ever waters. Wish I could go with—sadly, it is too late for me. All the same, tell my wife that I did not go quietly into that new week.