When Celebrity Mistresses Transition to Reality TV Hosts

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In a development no less odious for its inevitability, painted Michelle “Bombshell” McGee and blue ribbon whore Jamie Junger have been handed the holy grail of mistress-dom: a reality show. According to TMZ, producer Bobby Goldstein, the prolific mind behind Cheaters and Cheaters: Totally Busted! is shopping around a new “celebrity” edition of his oeuvre.

Besides rewarding terrible people for their terribleness, this abomination’s true terror lies in its potential to produce an infinite number of copycat Bombshell McGees, effectively causing her to multiply like a dysentery amoeba until there’s nothing but celebrity mistress shows on TV, and they have to create more channels just to hold them all, and it’s the only thing people talk about at work and please God no! Why not just cut to the chase and have a show called Celebrity Stabbers hosted by O.J. Simpson? He could skulk around Beverly Hills at night looking for celebrities about to kill someone and offer them tips and snacks while we all sit softly, weeping.