Russian Pop Star Oksana Pochepa: Mel Gibson’s Life After Wife

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imageHaving bid “Dosvedanya!” to his wife and “Pryvet!” to his new flame in the same hoarse breath, Mel Gibson’s fate is apparently looking to parallel Mickey Rourke’s. While Gibson’s divorce wasn’t spurred by his passion for Christ, driving drunk, or proclamations of his passion for Christ while driving drunk, it could, like many ills of the world, be attributed to his indiscretions with an innocent pop singer. In this case, the culprit is Oksana Pochepa.

Obviously, as with Rourke’s latest flame, the torrid tryst between Gibson and Pochepa is meant to transcend typical sugarbabe-sugardaddy relations. This, haters, is True Love. Even Pochepa hopes that their love is “strong and long-lasting” — unlike her career, which already looks to be bottoming out. Although savvier pop scholars could inquire: How is it that Russian pop stars are now attaching themselves onto our culture as footnotes without any contributions and replicating, not unlike spam? And to them, Pochepa would snarl and chuck an empty vodka bottle. Here’s hoping her squirrelly domestic pop ilk, enlightened by her increased international profile, realize that the secret to long-lasting success love lies not in misguided ballads with fading Latin heart-throbs, but in ensnaring grizzled, crisis-bound Hollywood stars.