Esprit d’Corpse: A Lethal Cocktail to Save Slutty Halloween

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Here in the land of women it is a time-honored truth that Halloween is merely an excuse to wear our naughties outdoors. One only needs to throw on her favorite corset, wig, fake eyelashes, tranny heels, and garter belt, and voodoo costume magic, she is good to go. When that creepy guy in the Jon Gosselin bald pate sidles up at the punch bowl and asks who she’s supposed to be, she can simply roll her eyes, be all like, “Sarah Palin, obviously. Don’t you see the glasses?” Unfortunately, a disturbing spike in pantlessness and underwear as outerwear is threatening to render national skivvies night obsolete. Every day can’t be hooker day, can it?

In the future it may be more transformative to don a floor-length FLDS muumuu and go as wife number 46, magic panties discretely shrouded. It is uncertain times like these that call for classic cocktails. Keep tradition alive with a Corpse Reviver No. 2. An off-menu favorite at PDT, this 1930s hair of the dog was named for its ability to bring the most hungover back to “life:” still drunk at 10 am, throw your hands up! But with a dash of the green fairy, the No. 2 really shines as a party-starting signal to your guests that you won’t take the demise of orange fishnets lying down. Hike up those hot pants, toss back that ratty blonde weave — somebody’s got to take a stand.

Corpse Reviver No. 2 1 oz gin 1 oz Lillet Blanc 1 oz Cointreau 1 oz fresh lemon juice 1 drop absinthe

Combine in a shaker with ice. Shake well and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a cherry.