“I Was Born This Way,” Claims Lingerie Barbie

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On January 1st, 2001, Barbie was caught scantily clad in lingerie, taking photos of herself on the artificial lawn outside of her mansion in Malibu. With her was an extremely large accomplice who was dressed similarly in lingerie by She & Reverie. The controversial doll, which some mothers will not even allow in their homes, was apprehended and charged with indecent exposure. Fourteen years later, Barbie is finally speaking out about the incident, giving us her first exclusive.


Barbie, explain how were you caught outdoors, wearing lingerie?

I don’t see what the big deal is; they’re going to take my clothes off anyway.

But Barbie —

Don’t Barbie me, that’s not even the worst of it. You have no idea what its like to be me! Sometimes I get brought home and within a week they’ve ripped my hair out and I’m missing a limb! I’ve even been the victim of decapitation–you try surviving that.

You and your accomplice were caught wearing lingerie designed by She & Reverie. Why that particular brand?

She & Reverie is for the whimsical dreamer! What do you think I represent!? I drive a pink convertible and my pony poops rainbows.

Why did you choose those particular pieces?

Well, my friend Kbunny and I were doing a lingerie shoot, and I totally love ALL of their stuff! In particular, I am a huge fan of their sixties sun top in chiffon rose, because we all know I love the color pink, and the ‘60s was a great time in my life. That’s when I became an astronaut.

Anyway, for the lingerie shoot I thought her scalloped bralette was absolutely adorable, and I love those high-waisted garter shorts! I’ve always found a high waistline to be the most flattering. The pieces are also incredibly comfortable, and I refuse to wear lingerie that isn’t comfy.

Also, while I love to dress in any given decade’s trends, when it comes to lingerie, I think it should be timeless, and She & Reverie is inherently timeless.


You’re a Malibu girl, so what made you choose a brand that is proudly manufactured in New York City?

My friend Kbunny is a New Yorker, and she was in town to visit, so I guess I felt inspired. Plus, I just love New York. I wrote a whole book about my first summer in the big city back in 1962, and my store in Times Square is off the hook.

You claim to be innocent, but you refused to stay in jail overnight.

I refuse to sleep anywhere other than my Malibu Dream House. My bestie, Jonathan Adler, recently redesigned the whole place. It looks sick.

But your bail was set at an astounding $50,000. Why not stick it out over night and avoid the fee?

Well, considering I’m a multi-million dollar empire, I’ve sold over a billion of myself, and two of me sell every second of everyday, I can’t say I was sweating it. I don’t sweat anything, literally.

How did Ken feel about the hefty bond?

Who gives a flying flamingo what Ken thinks?! Let’s face it, I’m the bread winner here. I was worth millions before Ken even came into the picture. You know something, I just posed for the 50th anniversary issue of Sports Illustrated, and of course the anti-Barbie squad flipped a daisy over it. I had to write a whole essay defending myself, meanwhile, what they fail to realize is that I’m one of the greatest business women of all time! Not to mention an American Icon! I think they should learn to be a little less judgmental.

Well, Barbie, they take issue with your image. They feel you are too fake looking and artificial.

Not true, I was born this way.

They feel your proportions are unrealistic to the true female form.

Okay, well the next time their kid asks for a teddy bear, I want them to say, “I’m sorry honey, bears just aren’t that soft and cuddly in the real world. Their torsos are much different and they have big scary teeth. It’s best you learn that now.” I’m a flipping doll for crying out loud.


Well Barbie, you were caught wearing lingerie on your lawn in Malibu. What kind of image are you trying to convey, exactly?

You know something, when my mother (COUGH COUGH!) made me, she said, “My whole philosophy of Barbie was that through the doll, the little girl could be anything she wanted to be. Barbie always represented the fact that a woman has choices.”

What do I represent? I’m here to remind girls everywhere to believe in their dreams because they can do anything they set their minds to!

My resume is thicker than a phone book.That’s what these haters seem to forget. I’m here to remind girls that any career is within reach. I’ve had over 108 careers myself! I was the first female American astronaut in 1965, three time presidential candidate, I’ve been an architect, doctor, champion equestrian, baker, art teacher, entrepreneur, soccer star, fashion designer, fashion editor, and I recently became a Sea World trainer. Do you know how many movies I’ve stared in?! I’m even a flipping philanthropist for pink’s sake! I mean, what else do you want from me?! I’m the number one selling doll in the world.

Your new friend is extremely large. Why not play with someone your own size?

I’ve always wanted to be big.

Well Barbie, thank you for doing this interview. I think our readers will really appreciate you addressing the incident, and we are so happy to have you in our lives. Playing dress up starts with lingerie, and we love to play dress up. Do you have any last words you would like to share?

Yes. Everybody knows I have a lot of clothes, but when you criticize someone, just remember, no matter how many pairs of pumps they might have, whatever’s happening is not happening to their pumps, it’s happening to the person who wears them.  So put yourself in my heels before you go glitter bombing me.


At heart, I’m a romantic dreamer girl. Take a moment to see the world through rose colored glasses. Like a budding peony, my heart blossoms in these whimsical designs, and I love them for it.


Styling, hair, makeup, model, and photography, all by Katrina Eugenia.