Kate Moss’ Golden Crotch Sells for $900,000

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Are you sick of hearing about the rabble protesting Mr. Moneybags? Let’s check in on what the wealthy are up to. They’re still going on about their business, sipping champagne, yelling at Jeeves, doing other cartoonishly generic rich people things, and buying overpriced art. For instance, someone just purchased an 18 carat-gold statue of Kate Moss contorted into an uncomfortable looking fetish, whoops YOGA, pose for $900,000. It’s perfect for the person who has everything.

Can Kate Moss even do yoga, you might ask. Wouldn’t her walking the runway or doing cocaine have been more true-to-life? Maybe, who knows, who cares; this is art! It has been in a number of galleries and has been hailed as “the largest gold statue since ancient Egypt,” thus proving it’s validity.

Called “Siren”, the hollow statue is said to weigh the same as the model herself and it has her stamp of approval. “She really liked the idea and she modelled for me for a day or so,” said artist Marc Quinn. “She didn’t pose for me like that. For Kate, she thinks it lifts her into a mythic level.”

Yes, the mythic level of having your crotch on display.